Demonslayer (WIP)

[protoAuthor]

"Hey, howya doin'? Name's Jim Redford. I slay demons. Lemme tell you my story about how I fought against demonic invasion in my hometown. Weeeellllp, first, see, I was about to go to bed, doin' my nightly prayers, when the lord himself spoke to me. He told me a demonic invasion was occurring at the very moment. First I got my trusty ol' Rock Island Armory 1911 .45, loaded it with Hollow Point rounds, and then I went to my kids' room, the demon's had already gotten them. I blew a hole in each demon, but it was too late. The demons had killed them and taken over their bodies. I mourned for a while, but I never cried, I let it turn into hate. So then I armed up. I grabbed a Norinco 1887 clone, loaded it in 10-gauge, an AR-15 with three 30-round mags, and my dad's old ivory-gripped SAA. It was already loaded. I grabbed as much ammunition I could carry and- Oh, thank ya for the drink, darlin'. It is pretty hot here, ain't it?
Anyways, so I ran out of the house into town. It was a nightmare. Demons everywhere. I used the AR first, dropping the demons in as few shots each as I could, took about 2 or 3 each, unless I got a headshot. Satan's army sure ain't tough to deal with, really. Anyways, this one demon was still alive, wounded pretty badly. It was struggling, no doubt to find a weapon to destroy me with. The lord himself told me to... well, have my way with it... So I did, and it turned into a woman, no doubt tryin' ta trick me. I blew the deceivin' thing's head clean off it's body with my 1887. Then these cop cars arrived. I was cheerin', yeah! Maybe these cops'll help me fight these demons, but it turned out they were demonized, too. I was runnin' low on ammo, but I wasn't about to give up. I wasted about 10 o' them fuckers before runnin' dry. I regretted not bringin' a knife, but I flew at them in a fury, swingin' my arms and such.
Last thing I remember before blackin' out is a gunshot, but it seems I'm fine. I guess someone fought off the demons before they were able to kill me, and fixed me up, and brought me here. Just wish it wasn't so friggin' hot here."